AWOL

Weddings can be peculiar events. We have personal expectations of what they are. Of what they should or should not be. Those planning often try to account for their guests’ expectations of what weddings should or should not be. The entire enterprise can become a sticky mess.

I was nervous about the formal event and the significant life change. I remember (watching) lots of planning, but it wasn’t over the top. The day of is mostly a blur. The worry of whether or not things occurred according to plan didn’t seem to matter. Everything happened too quickly to care very much.

While it was expected, standing in front of our guests with our wedding party was strange. We invited all those people to come look at our backs in fancy clothes. Partway through, we moved for a candle-lighting ceremony. One of my groomsmen was missing. He was hard to miss. He is at least a foot taller than everyone else.

I asked Robin, “Where’s Matt?” Matt lives his life in a category of one. Unique doesn’t capture his charmingly chaotic nature. With a grin and a shrug, Robin said, “Dunno.”

More rapid time dilation to fast forward to the end of the ceremony. We solved the mystery. He felt faint and ducked into the waiting area behind the altar. My cousin thoughtfully escorted two bridesmaids on the way out to keep some order.

This was not the only thing that did not go to plan that day. It was pretty casual. Everything felt low stakes. Yet, somehow, things still didn’t go according to plan.

Things don’t have to go perfectly to be wonderful. I am fooling myself with how much control I pretend to have over life. Pretend to have over other humans. Sometimes, I need to duck behind the altar. Sometimes, I need to walk two bridesmaids down the aisle. Sometimes, I am just an observer, and things can be wonderful even if they don’t match the plan.

Do I let hiccups ruin my experience? Will I appreciate how some things are wonderful whether or not they go to plan? Will I adapt in stride?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.