Bowling

I’ve bowled fewer than ten times in my life. I moderately enjoy it, and I have a tiny amount of natural talent for it. Well, enough talent to be kinda-sorta-ok.

I’ve noticed a strange thing that happens every time I bowl. I start off not caring about the game. In the first couple of frames, I bowl alright. Maybe I just get lucky, but I am fairly consistent in doing well.

A few strikes, pick up a couple of spares. I do alright. Then I get proud.

At this stage, I decide I want to do well. I focus really hard on being a good bowler. I direct my attention to every bit of my form, stance, and how I look while doing so. I get in my head. Things start to go poorly. I divide my attention between bowling well and wanting to be seen as bowling well. The harder I focus on it, the worse I get.

Until I get embarrassed and quit trying.

Suddenly, I am good at bowling again.

The internal divide forces me to share focus on doing the thing and being seen doing the thing. What little bit of focus remains doesn’t know what to do.

Am I paralyzing myself with overthinking? Is my attention divided amongst things that do not matter? Will I focus on doing versus being seen doing?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.