Creature

Creature of habit understates my routine in the morning before work.

As I age, my joints loudly signal their usage. The creaks, clicks, and pops keep me from ever sneaking up on someone. I’m taking glucosamine chondroitin, a supplement to reduce my symphony of bones.

After I leave my room, I try to get out the door quickly and quietly. I hope not to disturb the dogs and wake the rest of the house. The first pit stop is my morning pills. The regimen is nearly a meal-sized serving.

One day, I was moving through the various bottles, and my glucosamine wasn’t where I left it. I saw “gluco…” and mindlessly grabbed it. These pills were gigantic, and I had to take three of them. I tilted the bottle, and none came out. Assuming they were wedged together, I gave it a little shake.

Ugh. I immediately knew it wasn’t my bottle. An avalanche of powdered something dumped EVERYWHERE! Immediately, I was frustrated, but I emotionally moved on after a little tidying. I took the rest of my meds and headed out the door.

Through the laundry room door, I unlocked the door to the garage. As I went into the garage, my car wasn’t there. There was a moment of panic before I remembered I had been parking in the driveway for the entire week. We were moving some furniture around, and the garage was our temporary storage. For five days, I had parked in the driveway instead of in the garage.

Five days consecutively, I walked into the empty garage and, only then, remembered that I parked outside. I turned back into the house and headed out the front door. I grabbed my car door handle, and it wouldn’t open. Panic #3 this morning. Is the car battery dead? Maybe the remote battery?

Nope. I didn’t have my car key. I keep a pile of my pocket stuff. My key, wallet, badge, etc., all go together in the same spot all the time. I pulled my key out the night before and didn’t return it. It was within 5 feet of where I normally keep it. Also, I didn’t load my pockets and think I need to grab my key. I just loaded what was there and moved on with my morning routine.

All of this happened in one single morning. Each was a tiny nothing. A small thing to remember. Arguably, they are barely even habits. If these can be difficult to remember and change, then I must be very kind to myself when trying to change big habits. I need to be especially patient with others as they try to change their core behaviors.

I am not stupid. It isn’t that I don’t care. It isn’t that I am not trying. We are just creatures of habit. Routines are powerful. People can change, I can change, but it takes work.

Can I acknowledge that people can change and accept when they struggle to do so? Will I put in the hard work needed to grow? Am I patient with myself? Am I patient with you?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.