Golf

“You are alright.”

That was the first thing I said to my younger sister as she lay in the grass with an open head wound. We were playing with a golf club and a golf ball-sized wiffle ball. I was very careful to test my backswing to ensure she wasn’t too close. We were less careful in testing the distance for my follow-through swing. 

I pulled back and swung full force - nailed that ball across two yards and over a fence. I felt a second thud. When I turned around, she had already collapsed into a heap on the ground. As the club came around to the front, it connected hard against her head. 

“You are alright. Just get up, and it will be ok.” I remember it well. I was using every ounce of my energy to wish this to all go away. It was a scary, traumatic moment for me. Probably her, too. I hadn’t checked yet. 

I wasn’t there for her in that moment. I was worried about my own future. What punishment was I going to get? How could I just make this disappear? I wasn’t tending to improving the situation overall. I was trying to protect myself. 

Sometimes I get very caught up in trying to control various futures, responses, and outcomes. While my actions can have an influence on the future, I am usually best off making the most of where we are at right now. It will be ok, but probably sooner if I take care of the important things first. 

Will I put the most urgent needs first, even if they aren’t my own? Can I prioritize care for the immediate need over a hypothetical future reaction? Am I adding to the overall improvement of our situation? 

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.