Hobbit

Growing up, my dad read “The Hobbit” to me and my sister. Naturally, I fell in love when The Lord of the Rings movies came out. It probably involved some nostalgia, but I really enjoyed the storytelling and the massive world.

Years later, the Hobbit movies came out. My oldest was seven years old and fell in love with the companion guide to the movies. He learned all the characters’ names and their backstories. He was so excited when the films were finally released. The movies are long, but they fully captured his attention.

After we saw the third and final movie in the series, he became a little cold and quiet. He asked if he could go to bed, which was highly unusual. So he went through his nighttime routine and I went to tell him good night.

He was sitting quietly in his bed. I asked him what was up, and he deflected. I asked again, and he told me he was “trying to be tough.” After I pried more, he shared that he was upset that his two favorite characters in the story had died.

The book came out before the movies, so the authors carefully avoided any spoilers. My little 7-year-old had become attached to two characters. They both had very sad and unexpected deaths in the movie. I let him know it was ok to be sad. He cried and then was ready to go to sleep.

I’ve been in his position. I convince myself there is a right way to be. I wrongly think some emotions are okay to feel and others aren’t. I can’t actually hold my emotions in. At best, I pause them. Pausing comes with a risk. Once they are held, I no longer get to decide when or how they finally show up.

It is best to feel the feelings I have. I cannot erase them. While I shouldn’t delay them, I also shouldn’t hang onto them. I must dismiss emotions once they are no longer productive.

Am I angry or just deflecting my true feelings? Can I accept there isn’t a right way to be? Will we sit together when we need a cry?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.