Lot

My family took a 13-hour road trip to Indianapolis last summer. We broke it into two days and kept it light with fun stops. But it was still a lot of time in the car. Road trips can turn into a chore. Other drivers become competitors, which keeps me from making better time.

The highway had two lanes going in each direction. We came upon a major construction project. Just ahead, traffic cones divided the two lanes. I opted for the right lane. My gut suggested construction was more likely on the left side.

Eventually, the concrete barriers at the median were removed, and police directed traffic. They had the left lane cross through the oncoming lanes. The cars were ushered onto the service road for the opposite side of the highway. One lane there had been carved off for this traffic diversion. The officers were very efficient, but the left lane still slowed down. However, once the cars were on the service road, it opened up wide. They were moving so much faster than our side.

I was jealous. I knew I had made the wrong call. Our lane was moving fine, but that weird service road lane was hauling. After 5 or 6 miles, we were still moving, but they were slowing down. I assumed it was because they would have to re-enter the highway. I kept waiting to see them merge back in.

Five, six, then ten-plus miles, they were still not moving at all. A semi-truck had a tire blown out. Given this odd configuration, the tow truck struggled to get to them. The jealousy dissipated quickly as I celebrated my expert decision I made previously.

I was faced with two options and made a choice. I didn’t have any real insight. It was a guess. The lane I chose kept moving faster. It didn’t stop me from being jealous of what someone else got. Eventually, I got ahead and celebrated a win I didn’t earn. Truthfully, if I had been forced into the slower option, it would have just been more time with my family. Something I know I will always wish I had more of as time continues.

It can be easy to think I am winning or losing in areas I didn’t have influence over. While things I am born with may help or hinder me, they aren’t controllable. Similarly, I shouldn’t hold others responsible for things outside their control.

Where do I compare uncontrollable aspects? Am I exhausting myself by celebrating or lamenting things I cannot change? What changeable thing is more deserving of my energy?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.